He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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