smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize