is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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