I'll bet she douches with gravy.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
