So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
