How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She announced her abortion via fbk
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
