dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
