My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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