we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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