I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
