she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
