i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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