he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
