Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
