What a fucking waste of an outfit
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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