I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
