I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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