I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
