Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
