I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
