can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
