Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
