Whoa Z and x make the same sound
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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