There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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