I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize