I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
