she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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