handjob tips. give me some.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
