I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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