tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
