Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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