Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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