I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
