i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
