Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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