Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
