I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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