What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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