Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just cut my nipple shaving
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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