That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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