Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
