I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Damn victory sex feels great
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
