and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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