I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
