In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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