i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
