better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
