Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
