There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
do herpes really smell.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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