Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
