went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
