either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
