but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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