Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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