he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
