It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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