I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
