oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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