So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
