Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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