I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
