He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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