none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
