Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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