You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Even my vagina gasped.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
