Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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